Archive for hell

Send Me Some Love!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2009 by butterflyliz32

Hey there Loyal Readers and Newbies alike!!

I promise that I have not forgotten this blog.  Far from it, in fact.  I am working on a few things and am really looking forward to the future!  Don’t worry… I am still the same snarky former Company employee… there are plenty of good times to come.

I appreciate everyone still hitting my site, even though my posting has been lagging.  I get hits mostly from people still wanting a definition to “Inculcate” or Running with the Bulls [shrugs]. I will do a full review of awesome (and bizarre) search engine terms shortly.

In the meantime, I would love for all you lurkers (and very vocal commenters) to come out from hiding and let me know which Hell Blog story has been your favorite!  Enquiring minds want to know! 

puppy 1
Even adorable puppies are begging for your comments!

 PS – This is not my puppy.  But I wish he was.  He does/did belong to my friend Erica though.

Workplace Bullies

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2009 by butterflyliz32

Ok, so we have all seen them, right?  Every office has that a-hole that causes a mass exodus from the break room… people ducking into random cubicles… pretending to be on the phone… you get the drift.  It’s the office bully.  I used to work for a woman lovingly referred to as Darth Vader… behind her back, of course!  You know… the one so mean and horrible around that one look from them has you gasping for breath and praying for death.  Maybe I am being melodramatic, but my guess is that SOMEONE out there knows what I am talking about…

If you don’t – It’s probably you.  Starting noticing the dust trails people are laying when they walk away from you.

I am currently working on another article for publication about these people and need some stories, other than my own horrible experiences with a myriad of office bullies.  So please, please, please with a cherry on top – Leave me some horrifying stories via comments.  The best story just might win a prize!!  [Eyebrow waggle]

Chime in people – this is your opportunity to tell the world about your own personal Darth Vader experience!  You don’t have to give names… unless you want to 😉

darth-vader-face1

Batting 2,000

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on March 27, 2009 by butterflyliz32

Yay!!!  The HellBlog broke 2,000 hits today!!  This is a great milestone since it’s conception back in August 2008.

Thanks to my loyal readers and the random masses who find themselves here on the quest for better grammar and the need to use inculcate in a sentence.

I have been somewhat on hiatus from writings about The Company as I focused on some personal issues, but plan to get back to it really soon.

Thanks again for reading!

Oooook…. Inculcate? Really?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2009 by butterflyliz32

What is the number one search engine term bringing people to the HellBlog?  It USED to be The Peeing Mantis.

Now?

“Use inculcate in a sentence” [enter]

Really?  Seriously??  I have had over 40 searchers hit my blog since I posted this post back in October.  I am appalled saddened curious about this.  I mean are there really that many people who are searching for this term?  I had never even heard of it before some wise guy at The Company pulled a thesaurus out of his ass and decided to show everyone one the worst possible word to put into a motivational strategic plan since “downsizing”.

I just had to comment on this since it comes up several times a week.

One other that made me laugh:  “Use apparently in a sentence”.  Ok.  Apparently, you are a moronHow’s that?

 

Post Script– Recently, one of my named characters has attempted to add me as a friend on Facebook.  I have not accepted yet, as I do not wish to hurt her feelings, were she to stumble upon this blog, which I am pimping pretty heavily via Facebook right now… not to mention I would like to avoid anyone at The Company learning about this until the book is in the jacket, so to speak.  So… thoughts – Do I change her name in the blog… OR do I pretend I never saw the friend request?  Comments appreciated, as always!!

Search Engine Terms – Finding what you are looking for

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2008 by butterflyliz32

I love the wordpress blog so much more than my other one – simply from a stats perspective.  It allows me to see how many people are visting, where they are coming from, and what they are looking for.  I love the search engine terms too, and thought I would share them with you, taking a cue from a friend.  So, here they are:

Peaing Mantis – I have written several blogs on my arch nemesis, The Peeing Mantis.  This is a woman in my office who pees all over the seat in the public restroom and does not clean up after herself.  I hate her a lot.  I don’t know exactly what the ‘peaing mantis’ does, except maybe throws frozen peas at people?  Not sure what you were looking for here.  Hope you enjoyed it anyway.

Why should a person want to mentor – If you are asking this question, mentoring is probably not for you.  Mentoring is a way for a person with a lot of experience (or has made a lot of mistakes and learned really valuable lessons from said mistakes) to coach a less experienced person.  There are many, many people in the workplace who should NEVER mentor other people.  I had a director once that everyone referred to as ‘Darth Vadar’.  She would be one of those people.  If people see you coming and they crawl into the ceiling tiles to escape, chances are they will NOT be asking for you to be their mentor.

She is the boss not over me – So, that would make her not the boss of you.  Congrats – You don’t have to listen to her.

You are not the boss of me origin– No clue, but children have been telling their parents this for ages.  I am sure it started when Caveman Dad told bratty Caveman Son to clean the cave, and it was all downhill from there.  But, bratty Caveman Son was probably eaten by a saber-tooth tiger due to an underdeveloped sense of “fight or flight,” so everyone wins.

Pearls Before Swine meow joke– I loves me some Pearls Before Swine (cartoon).  I am not sure which meow joke they were looking for, but if you come across it, I would love to see it.  My meow joke came from Super Troopers (movie) and is hysterical.  I would link in the video, but the Nazi bastards at my office have blocked YouTube.  But, if you have stumbled on to my blog through the cleaver use of search terms, then you can probably find the clip on your own.

Apparently I walked into the face of hell – Yeah… me too – hence the name of my blog.

I like my job but I can’t stand rhonda – Who searches for this??  I think this is definitely the funniest one so far.  Sorry you don’t like Rhonda.  Our Big Rhonda was super nice and a very good person.  She just had a very negative attitude and sighed a lot.  In a big, huffy way.

Susanne Gaddis – Interesting that I would get a search term hit on Susanne.  She is a friend of mine and I have been enjoying her classes for years.  If you are interested in contacting her, you can reach her at www.communicationsdoctor.com  Tell her I sent you 🙂

Prairie Doggin– I have searched for this term too.  Mostly in the Google images for pictures to attach to the blog.  Prairie dogging, in an office setting, is the popping of one’s head over/around a cubicle wall to see what other people are doing.  It is really annoying.  Quit it.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed seeing what brings people to the Fourth Floor, or the HellBlog, as I am now calling it in polite company.  Keep on searching, because I just love trying to figure out what you were really looking for when you ended up here.

You’re Not the Boss of Me!! Oh, wait… you ARE… Crap!!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on September 10, 2008 by butterflyliz32

When I interviewed for my position with The Company, I was interviewed by a guy named Mark, who was to be my manager.  He was a complete tool.  My interview process was over 2 hours long and after about 15 minutes, I realized that this guy didn’t have a clue what he was doing.  He asked me about 10 different questions… over and over again, in varying ways.  Most of my responses began, “As I mentioned earlier…” because they were literally the same questions rephrased over and over.  It was the most painful interview of my life.  Then, I heard nothing for several weeks.  Oh well.  Well, about 4 days before the position was expected to start, I got a call offering me the job.  I jumped on it (as underpaid as it was) because my contract was ending and I needed work.

By the time I started, Mark was no longer employed by The Company.  I never really got the full explaination behind that – but it appears that my initial assessment of his tool-ness, was dead on.  So, now I would be reporting directly to the director, “B”.  She was a nice enough lady, so it seemed.  She was red-headed, very overweight, and funny as hell.  I really got along well with her, at first.  I found out prior to my coming there, she had actually been about 130 lbs heavier than she already was, but had the lap band surgery and had a great success with it.  [Before you think I am bashing… I have also had this surgery]

Unfortuantely, we found out pretty quickly that she wasn’t always to be trusted.  You would be having a great day… a great conversation with her… and then BOOM… it would wind up biting you in the ass.  It really shook my trust in people, especially in management.  I had several off-line conversations used against me as excuses for work not being accomplished.  No, it wasn’t because my husband is bipolar… it is because you asked me to design 11 brand new classes in one week.  That is retarded.

I would like, now, to give you some of the B-isms that we grew so accustomed to.  Enjoy.

What had happened was…  I have so many problems with this line opening EVERY sentence.  Seriously?  Just tell me what happened.  I don’t need to know that it “had happened.”  She also failed to pronounce the T in what and the D in had, so it sounded like a line Mush Mouth from Fat Albert would have used frequently [wha’ ha’ happen was…].

I was give out.   In English, this means “I was exhausted.”  This sentence was uttered at least once a day while conveying her exhaustion from the night before. 

Baby, I don’t eat.  This one usually happened while she was eating a slice of cake [diabetic] or something else she shouldn’t have that she would have to quickly “dispose of” because her lap band couldn’t handle it.  I am sorry, but as a large person, you just don’t say these things with a straight face.  I know from first-hand experience how hard it can be to eat after having that surgery… but come on!

Oh there were a slew of other things that I have blocked from my brain.  When I talk to my partners in crime… I will update with more.

A few months after I started working there, I brought in a friend of mine to do some temp work for us.  Within a few months… she became our boss.  Yeah… it does suck that much.  Oh well… she was a great girl and ended up being a much better boss to work under than B.  At least she had a clue…

Prairie Doggin’

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on September 1, 2008 by butterflyliz32

One thing I hate about the cubicle environment is “Prairie Doggin’.”  This is where people will pop their heads over or around the cubicle walls, much like a prairie dog popping out of his den.  Except in the office, people will do this ambush-style.  There is nothing worse than looking up and seeing a pair of eyes staring back at you. 

We really need to learn a little etiquette in the workplace.  Just because my cubicle does not have a door on it doesn’t mean that you have the right to just walk right in any time you like, or just begin talking to me while I am on the phone, or in the middle of something.  It is extremely rude.  If my office had a door, people would never think of barging in to a closed door. 

One day, when I was working at The Company, I realized just how small my cubicle actually was when someone entered it (without me realizing it – I can get VERY engrossed in my work) and ambushed me with a hug attack.  I flipped my lid.  Fortunately, it was a very nice guy who was a little slow, and therefore was not viewed as a threat.  After that, I put up a mirror and thought about adding a motion detector or some kind of cow-bell alert system to keep that from happening again.

Shortly after this incident, I moved into a much larger cubicle that was completely open on one side.  The downside – it had a window that looked into the cubicle in front of me.  How stupid.  Now, it was like watching the Prairie Dogs at the zoo through one of those underground bubble viewers where you are actually inside the enclosure.  Every few hours, I would be shocked stupid to see Mandy’s face appear suddenly through the window to ask me a question (usually whether or not I had her Mary Kay products in stock).  Interestingly enough, at Christmas time we decided to scrapbook our cubicle walls in order to win the annual decorating contest.  I covered the window and it stayed covered for the rest of the year.  Coincidence??  Doubtful.