Archive for grammar

Send Me Some Love!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2009 by butterflyliz32

Hey there Loyal Readers and Newbies alike!!

I promise that I have not forgotten this blog.  Far from it, in fact.  I am working on a few things and am really looking forward to the future!  Don’t worry… I am still the same snarky former Company employee… there are plenty of good times to come.

I appreciate everyone still hitting my site, even though my posting has been lagging.  I get hits mostly from people still wanting a definition to “Inculcate” or Running with the Bulls [shrugs]. I will do a full review of awesome (and bizarre) search engine terms shortly.

In the meantime, I would love for all you lurkers (and very vocal commenters) to come out from hiding and let me know which Hell Blog story has been your favorite!  Enquiring minds want to know! 

puppy 1
Even adorable puppies are begging for your comments!

 PS – This is not my puppy.  But I wish he was.  He does/did belong to my friend Erica though.

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Batting 2,000

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on March 27, 2009 by butterflyliz32

Yay!!!  The HellBlog broke 2,000 hits today!!  This is a great milestone since it’s conception back in August 2008.

Thanks to my loyal readers and the random masses who find themselves here on the quest for better grammar and the need to use inculcate in a sentence.

I have been somewhat on hiatus from writings about The Company as I focused on some personal issues, but plan to get back to it really soon.

Thanks again for reading!

Oooook…. Inculcate? Really?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2009 by butterflyliz32

What is the number one search engine term bringing people to the HellBlog?  It USED to be The Peeing Mantis.

Now?

“Use inculcate in a sentence” [enter]

Really?  Seriously??  I have had over 40 searchers hit my blog since I posted this post back in October.  I am appalled saddened curious about this.  I mean are there really that many people who are searching for this term?  I had never even heard of it before some wise guy at The Company pulled a thesaurus out of his ass and decided to show everyone one the worst possible word to put into a motivational strategic plan since “downsizing”.

I just had to comment on this since it comes up several times a week.

One other that made me laugh:  “Use apparently in a sentence”.  Ok.  Apparently, you are a moronHow’s that?

 

Post Script– Recently, one of my named characters has attempted to add me as a friend on Facebook.  I have not accepted yet, as I do not wish to hurt her feelings, were she to stumble upon this blog, which I am pimping pretty heavily via Facebook right now… not to mention I would like to avoid anyone at The Company learning about this until the book is in the jacket, so to speak.  So… thoughts – Do I change her name in the blog… OR do I pretend I never saw the friend request?  Comments appreciated, as always!!

You are the opposite of right, and I don’t mean left!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 1, 2008 by butterflyliz32

It always amazes me that people are so sure about their opinions that they will argue them to the death.  Even when they are so wrong it hurts to think about them and all their wrongness.  I just look at these people thinking… “Wow… you are really wrong.  And dumb.  Yeah, dumb and wrong.”  But, mostly I just stand there with my mouth open in a state of shock and disbelief.

Because when you are fighting for something you REALLY believe in (and are wrong about), you aren’t remotely listening to the other person’s (right) opinion.  You just want to win.  But you won’t.  Because you are wrong.

So, when I was working at The Company, I was having a conversation with B one day.  I don’t remotely remember the context or why we were talking about this, but the subject of colors came up.  It went something like this:

Me:  I think we should use Primary Colors on [insert whatever we were talking about here]

B:  Yes, I think that is a great idea.  Use green.

Me:  Green is not a primary color.  It is a secondary color.

B:  No.  Green is a primary color.

Me:  [crickets chirping] Huh?  My mother is an artist.  I went to Kindergarten.  Red, Yellow, and Blue are primary colors.  Green is a secondary color – because it is made up of two primary colors.  That’s its nature.

B:  No [getting angry] it is PRIMARY.

Me: [thinking] You are and idiot.  [saying] Whatever.

I think the exchange went on longer than this, but even now I throw up in my mouth a little just reliving this exchange… Minutes of my life I will never get back.  I lost a littlea lot of respect for her in that one conversation.  Nevermind the grammatical errors or obnoxious ring tone (a really bad polyphonic version of Heart & Soul – always playing on the loudest setting – Plus a walkie talkie built in which would chirp at any given moment)… I now hated her.

You’re Not the Boss of Me!! Oh, wait… you ARE… Crap!!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on September 10, 2008 by butterflyliz32

When I interviewed for my position with The Company, I was interviewed by a guy named Mark, who was to be my manager.  He was a complete tool.  My interview process was over 2 hours long and after about 15 minutes, I realized that this guy didn’t have a clue what he was doing.  He asked me about 10 different questions… over and over again, in varying ways.  Most of my responses began, “As I mentioned earlier…” because they were literally the same questions rephrased over and over.  It was the most painful interview of my life.  Then, I heard nothing for several weeks.  Oh well.  Well, about 4 days before the position was expected to start, I got a call offering me the job.  I jumped on it (as underpaid as it was) because my contract was ending and I needed work.

By the time I started, Mark was no longer employed by The Company.  I never really got the full explaination behind that – but it appears that my initial assessment of his tool-ness, was dead on.  So, now I would be reporting directly to the director, “B”.  She was a nice enough lady, so it seemed.  She was red-headed, very overweight, and funny as hell.  I really got along well with her, at first.  I found out prior to my coming there, she had actually been about 130 lbs heavier than she already was, but had the lap band surgery and had a great success with it.  [Before you think I am bashing… I have also had this surgery]

Unfortuantely, we found out pretty quickly that she wasn’t always to be trusted.  You would be having a great day… a great conversation with her… and then BOOM… it would wind up biting you in the ass.  It really shook my trust in people, especially in management.  I had several off-line conversations used against me as excuses for work not being accomplished.  No, it wasn’t because my husband is bipolar… it is because you asked me to design 11 brand new classes in one week.  That is retarded.

I would like, now, to give you some of the B-isms that we grew so accustomed to.  Enjoy.

What had happened was…  I have so many problems with this line opening EVERY sentence.  Seriously?  Just tell me what happened.  I don’t need to know that it “had happened.”  She also failed to pronounce the T in what and the D in had, so it sounded like a line Mush Mouth from Fat Albert would have used frequently [wha’ ha’ happen was…].

I was give out.   In English, this means “I was exhausted.”  This sentence was uttered at least once a day while conveying her exhaustion from the night before. 

Baby, I don’t eat.  This one usually happened while she was eating a slice of cake [diabetic] or something else she shouldn’t have that she would have to quickly “dispose of” because her lap band couldn’t handle it.  I am sorry, but as a large person, you just don’t say these things with a straight face.  I know from first-hand experience how hard it can be to eat after having that surgery… but come on!

Oh there were a slew of other things that I have blocked from my brain.  When I talk to my partners in crime… I will update with more.

A few months after I started working there, I brought in a friend of mine to do some temp work for us.  Within a few months… she became our boss.  Yeah… it does suck that much.  Oh well… she was a great girl and ended up being a much better boss to work under than B.  At least she had a clue…

Inappropriate Use of Quotations and Other ‘Pacific’ Problems

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on August 19, 2008 by butterflyliz32

OK, I admit it.  I am a bit of a snob when it comes to grammar, especially in the workplace.  I mean, come on folks…. it’s English.  If you are going to speak it at least do it properly.  I am also extending my snobbery to the written word.  Email is NOT a casual conversation, people.  It is a written form of business communication.  While working for The Company, I ran across some of the most horrific violations you could possibly make while still, in fact, speaking English.  At some level, I expect this.  However, when you are a high ranking official, you really ought to step it up a notch.  Let me clarify…

Our fearless [cough] leaders at The Company were always coming up with new ways to torture the management staff, and in turn, my department of Organization Development gurus.  Since very few people actually understood our role in the organization (including our own boss), we were often strapped with really random, lame projects.  One of these projects was to have the management staff take a random leadership book-of-the-moment and break it down to see how we could incorporate these tactics into our daily lives.  The problem with this tactic is that the book-of-the-moment changed rapidly with the other book never getting a second glance.  But, I digress… Anyway, during this particularly horrid session, we were breaking down the 8 Rules of Leadership (see Winning by Jack Welch) and thus were broken into 8 “teams,” (and I use that term VERY loosely, and mostly sarcastically).  Each team was tasked with explaining their rule and finding a way to market it to the rest of the organization.  After a particularly dreadful team meeting, someone in my group ended up clucking like a chicken.  Folks, these are the leaders of tomorrow.  Be afraid.  After the management meeting ended and we all trudged back to our desks we found an email waiting from one of the managers.  This is what it said:  “Everyone did a great job on their projects.  We sure have a very ‘talented’ group here at [The Company].”  I was floored.  “Talented?”  Was that sarcasm?  It couldn’t have been.  She had the personality of a wet mop, and the management skills to match!  No, that was just a sheer lack of understanding that quotations are not to be used to make a word stand out in a sentence.  Seriously.  Use bold or even underline.  I get that.  Quotations like that just make you look like either a smartass, or in her case… a complete dumbass.

We had another perplexing email from said manager that went a little something like this:  Please submit your time sheets to “me”.  So… not to you?  I am confused.

Then we have the scary things that people actually say.  Sometimes, it isn’t so much about your grammar as it is choosing the wrong word…. over and over again.  There are many “pacific” problems that come to mind…  I once had a lady calling to join a focus group who told me, “I would love to precipitate in your meeting.”  Really?  Would you?  Please don’t rain on my meeting.  This was a Senior Director.  I wish I was making that up. 

The bottom line is this… People are judging you based on your communication skills, or lack thereof.  If they don’t clearly understand what you are saying, you have no influence.  Simple is best.  I hear people every day trying to appear smart by using big words.  But the problem is twofold… One, if you don’t know what the word actually means, you look like a tool.  Two, if they don’t know what the word means, you have lost them as a listener.  You will never make yourself look smart if you make others feel dumb.  You will also never look smart if you are, in fact, dumb.  Go with the lowest common denominator and keep your communications simple and clear.  You will have greater influence and people will enjoy talking to you.