The Peeing Mantis

I am transferring this post from my other blog because I experienced this again today, and I just feel it needs to be talked about, in the office setting. I hope you haven’t had to experience this, but there are enough jerks out there that I am sure you have.  Enjoy!

The Peeing Mantis Strikes Again!!!

Ok ladies… I am completely grossed out by this bathroom phenomenon known as “hovering.” I do not understand how or why this came to be a good thing, especially at work. This is not the gas station on the corner! It is a regularly-cleaned office bathroom used only by co-workers in a secured building. I do not see the need to hover. ESPECIALLY when there are convienent seat covers in every stall. I cannot tell you how many times over the last year I have walked in and seen the recent shower left behind. Gross!!
I envision this woman, whoever she is, as a giant Preying Mantis (aka Peeing Mantis). I wish I was a graphic artist so I could draw what I see in my head. Blech. All I can find is this:

Just cover the seat and move on. You are grossing me out.

The Unmasking of the Peeing Mantis

Well, through a weird conversation yesterday, I have finally learned the identity of my arch nemesis ~ The Peeing Mantis. You will recall from my earlier blog that this is the alias I have given to the dis-gust-ing woman in my office who sprinkles all over the toilet seat (hovering, thereby appearing mantis-like) and then fails to clean up after herself.
I am so creeped out by this knowledge!! I don’t know if I can ever look at her again without glaring and silently hating her nasty guts. I do laugh outloud after hearing her unmasker say, “She stands like a man!!” It was funny. And disturbing on SO many levels.
I will not call her out here, even though it is a 1 in 1,000,000 chance she would EVER read my blog. Just know I am on to you, Peeing Mantis.
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3 Responses to “The Peeing Mantis”

  1. fancylori Says:

    Bahahahahahahahahahaha. Just know that I am on to you, Peeing Mantis…Bahahahahahahahahahhaha. I think I just busted a blood vessel. Oww.

  2. […] in other rambling news –   I caught the Peeing Mantis in the bathroom last week.  I hate her guts.  I can’t look at her without mentally […]

  3. Peeing Mantis– you are disgusting. Cover the damn toilet or just sit on it.

    First of all, I have heard from numerous experts (okay, Tyra Banks’ expert she called in on The TYRA Show, as well as the far-more-credible Dr. Oz) that sitting on the public toilet is not so scary. In fact, sitting on your own toilet at home is likely far more dicey, since office potties get cleaned more often than most peoples’ home pots. The question was posed to said experts, “could I get a disease from sitting on the commode?” The answer: “It depends on who you’re having sex with while on the toilet.”

    Also, be aware, Mantis, that sometimes people have a 911 bathroom situation, where they just barely manage to unzip and sit in time. In which case, they might not have a chance to check out the seat. And they end up sitting in your nasty pee. You asshole.

    There you have it folks. Here’s an oldie but goodie, “if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.”

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